Celeb Juicy Gozzip Update: KStew/RPatz vs. MiCy/Leeum

Most. Awk. Ppl. Ever.

This needs to be seacrest out…

One is dunzo, one is back ON. You be the judge…

Right or wrong?

KStew & RPatz are mercifully calling it quits yet AGAIN — as sources I have out in the field as my trusty summa interns (apply within to be apart of this lovely & gentle #GASPNation) that confirm these allegations. They aint in a relaysh nomo, ‘ats a shame. Good riddance. Go away for the love of MOSES. You both seemed right for one another — what with the beautiful albino skin, terrible conversational skills whilst in public forums, frowns that would make even Chris Traeger shed tears of depression, and general disdain they both had for sunlight & other human interaction on a day 2 day basis. Wooooooooof, get ova yaselves, it’s finally that time to go the separate ways now that Twilight has finally closed up shop. You 2 may now follow that trend. A case like this has been solved, book ‘em Burt Macklin.

As for the other daring duo of a couple, they are now shifting gears back towards walking the heavens, plank: Miley Cyrus (ITS MILEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY) & Liam Hemsworth.

This is GASP worthy if you ever thought of one. This ish just got realllll. As in real stupid. 

Why the bologna are these peeps thinking this could have any sort of “smart” logic in aiming to getting hitched? Why oh whyyyy. This is the type of news that will keep us up periodically throughout the night, imploring our brains to tell us the answer to this sick riddle of life. In the meantime, all we here at GossipAndSports can do is take our most educated guess as to this malarkey. Pure silliness.

Y’all have serious trust issues. Miley and Liam ADMITTED this, that they enjoy/get the most out of their relationship when they can push each others buttons…oh, right, because that’s the ticket to a happy/healthy future. Umm hmmm. I must have missed that in the dating handbook I suppose, ouchtown: population ME sheesh.

On top of the lack of trust they also constantly fight and apparently no one is telling Ms. Miley that she’s WICKED young and should be out there being a wing-woman to either the likes to TayTay or Selena. Be a normal nickelodeon star: go cray, say you’re “finding yourself”, take selfies on Insta, gossip all the time about potench boys, and read this site every day like what EVERYONE ELSE DOES!

Miley break free, K Stew you’re stinky…

GASP! ’24′ & Jack are BACK?

You got a problem? Jack will SOLVE/END YOU.

All fellow ’24′ and Jack Bauer and fans who enjoy to have their hearts beating out they chest on a week 2 week basis, there is some GASP-worthy news vis a vis this show again.

Fox executives said Monday that its drama “24″ is returning next May for a limited run that will stretch into the summer. The adventure series with Kiefer Sutherland starring as Jack Bauer ended its original run in 2010.

Awwww yeaaaaa SON. Time to fire up some old clips on YouTube, re-watch the series that are streaming on Netflix, or better yet, go out and celebrate like we all know how the REAL Jack aka Kieeefahhhh (in Babs from Teen Mom 2 voice) Sutherland does it up. Go big or go home, and my oh my does he like to go wickedddd hugeeeee. 

Get Jack Bauer some more Jack Daniels (double it pls)

The thought of this show even remotely coming back in movie form was considered a stretch and one could even give a retort such as “girllllllll pleazzzzzzzzz” and no one would bat an eyelash because of the veracity. But hey, it’s a comin and i’m a LIKIN.

When this baby is on FOX, don’t bother trying to contact me as I go “off the grid” to align with Bauer’s life…

God Speed, Angie Jolie!!

Lady Angie 2013

Us here at #GASPNation would like to give all of our support, prayers, and good karma over to Ms. Jolie-Pitt for having the courage in going through something that many would be scared silly in even contemplating it…

AJP ended up having a double-masectomy after discovering she cares this certain gene which increases the risk of eventually developing breast & ovarian cancer. Ugh and woof to that grim news. Can you ‘magine hearing that? 

She was quoted saying, “Once I knew that this was my reality, I decided to be proactive and to minimize the risk as much as I could.” 

Just a terrible realization but she did the right thing in getting this outta her system as quickly as poss. It’s great to see how often than not, women are so strong.

Go get ‘em Angelina…in the interim I will watch Tomb Raider 100x in a row in support

Selena Gomez: “I’m single & available in every way”

Just like her song...come and get it

Just like her song…come and get it

Welp, who ever said Monday was no bueno? Well, they usually always are quite musty but this Monday packs a serious punch/wake-up call with this GASP-worthy news.

Not only is SGo in MeeAhhMee getting her tan & bikini-2step on & poppin’, she recently dropped the hammer about how she is single, no longer with the Biebs, and is obvi ready to move on to other potench dudes (spoiler alert: it’s me, so step off Leo…)

We all have been down this road before, and who knows how long this “break” will last, but the good news is that she’s moving on. Time to set the clocks ahead and get in the mix outside of the biebsworld.

Single Selena es mas fina.

The Chickeneers > The Lumineers

Get ya cluck on!

Cluck you Loooms!

Sorry about the FOWL language (unnecessary but necessary pun usage there) there, but I have to say that I enjoy this all cluck version over the Ho Hey played out song you hear on every bubble gum radio station across this fab nation. I got to witness the Lumineers live for a few songs before, and they were just OK. Decent vocals, sure. Dece musical abilities, why not. Nothing that will blow you away in the slightest though. Obvi no one can dance in this group so don’t expect any Chris BREEZY moves whilst on that stage. This is where those chickens come into play…

Jimmy Fallon makes pure gold a la KFC Big Bucket style with this remix, all memebers of the group dressed in ridic ‘stumes and clucking along in awes harmony that makes your toe tap-tap-tap-a-roo with the beat. Hot cameos provided by none other than Ron Swansong Swanson & Blake “not Lively” Shelton manning the mics and the beaks. Play, listen, laugh, repeat 3x.

I’ll take Fallon over that hump Leno ANY DAY O’ THA WEEK.