Dear Buffalo Bills…

Kolb hurt? No GASP there.

Kolb hurt? No GASP there.

You know what is not cute at all, ever? Being a Buffalo Bills fanatic like I am. If I ever have the miracle of

A- getting tricking some dame into marrying me

B- somehow spawning off some kiddies

The net result? Not having him become a Bills fan because I want him to have a normal, drama-free, less musty life that I have currently. I will forevs continue to lead this life whilst rooting for the only NY team in the NFL. At the very least I am still pulling for NY though, so cannot hate too much. Cough, cough to the Jets & Giants…last time I checked a map of the US of A, they play their games in NEW JERSEY aka the armpit of Amurrrrrrica. Buffalo is a wack arnold town but it still be in that NY flava flavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv!

ITS TUEL TIME!

ITS TUEL TIME!

This seas has not even started yet, and alas, I have already been crushed in the nads over and over again by the news that the Bills have had more injuries than the NY Mets which is rather tough to best might I add. 

Top 2 QBs on roster? Hurt. Kolb is concussed beyond belief and probs will never play another down in the NFL which is just downright rotten. Our draft pick we traded up for that supposedly is now the future of the franchise? EJ Manuel has a cranky knee and looking like Week 2 is the estimated time back (MAYBE.)

Best lock down CB who is ramping up his skills YoY like a G6 in Steph Gillmore? Hurt for at least 6 weeks. The guy is baby Revis and now the Bills are starting some skell in his stead. Like, seriously? F my L!

Get betta a sap Gills!!

Get betta a sap Gills!!

The net-net = Bills will again miss the 2013 playoffs and will record 5-6 wins. YAWN :(

 

TEBOW Time 2 The “Great-Tree-Its”

Tebow = Superman

Tebow = Superman

Terrific Tooooooom, getcha popcorn ready pal. You got some serious company in the QB depth charts, thanks to the recent signing of none other than Timmy Tebow.

Ensue the ESPN 24×7 coverage, the haters coming out from their RVs to spit nonsense about how TT can’t play the position, and getting the absolute enjoyment of seeing that punk/devil Bill Bell-I-Cheat squirm with each passing question that stems around TEBOWs every little action.

Apparently there is actually someone else in the greater USA that could have the same amount of meatlove as I do for #5…that being Josh McDaniels. I am rather convinced he locked Bill B in his office and refused to leave it until he could see the light (pun for God slash TEBOW) and agreeing to the fact that Tim needs to get in the mix in New England.

Wish ya nothin’ but the best TT#5.

Learn from Tommy Boy, take his job, join Buff Bills. KThxLaterz

Putcha hands on ya hip, do the DIP!

Putcha hands on ya hip, do the DIP!

Buff Bills New GM? Did Titus Young Get Arrested (Development)?!?

Mehhh seeee

3rd time, lets do ittttttt

Quick NFL News & Notes for 5.13.13 

Buffalo:  The Buffalo Bills announced Monday that Buddy Nix stepped down from his role as Executive Vice President/General Manager and will transition to Special Assistant. The move comes just three weeks after team president Russ Brandon said, “Buddy Nix is our general manager and will be for a long time.”

Summary = Nix is a clown, not worthy of this title, Bills can do better than have him calling the shots

Detroit/STL/prison: Orange County sheriff’s spokesman Lt. Joe Balicki said the Lions’ 2011 second round draft pick allegedly attempted to break into a San Clemente home Friday night, then led deputies on a foot chase and engaged them in a fist fight before being arrested.

Summary = This guy needs some serious mental help. Lock him in a facility for weeks on end until he stops being a skell. He has the talent to be a fierce WR but nobody in the ‘show will wanna deal with these types of Tom Foolery. Cris Carter somewhere is screaming in his sleep “COME ONnNNnnNNn MAAAAAAnnnnnnnn”